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I've been very busy the last few weeks and haven't had much time to keep you updated on the latest news. Apologies.

So, just in case you hadn't heard, Hamid Karzai has sneaked back in as president of Afghanistan, Tony Blair is out of the running for the EU top job, Obama's health care reforms passed the first big vote, Zenyatta bolted up in the Breeders' Cup, and, most importantly (after many years of doing it wrong), I learned to toss properly!

Now, just before Miss 'Horrified' of Halesham writes in to say I'm being overtly vulgar, I should explain that the toss in question is one of the tennis variety. After decades of battling with my balls invariably tossed  into the wrong position at the point of contact, I've finally found out where I've been going wrong for so long. And, believe it or not,  it took a female doctor to show me how to do it properly.

The doctor in question is one Catherine Harrison, a friend of many years standing who I happened upon in a dormitory in Singapore back in the mid-1990's. That's another story. Anyway, Cath, her husband Tony, and baby boy Ben, came to stay with us for a week and seemed suitably impressed with my whistlestop tour of some of the best places in Israel.

In amongst our galavanting, we found time to take in a game of tennis - that's me, Cath, and my good friend Arnold (erstwhile husband of Yael, who regular readers of this blurb might recall had a contratand with a growling manageress at a local car wash some weeks ago). Arnold and I regularly play tennis at the local 'mucinipal' courts (that's an old favourite schoolboy term), where we amaze the locals with tennis of a calibre, the like of which has rarely, if ever, been seen in these parts. In other words, we're rubbish!

So, Dr Cath pops up, having been a particularly decent player in her time, and now very much on the comeback trail after bringing forth the aforementioned child some 16 months ago. When the good doctor mentioned that she has been having lessons from a professional tennis coach back in England, my ears pricked up in an instant. I suggested that maybe 'herself' would be prepared to pass on some of the gems imparted by her teacher to me and my near 2 metre tall 'partner-in-crime'.

So, onto the court we strolled to be battered by Cath on one side of the net, with Arnold and I on the other. After the the first two points we knew we were fighting a losing battle. Then came the moment of revelation. After inviting me to serve, she immediately saw where I have been going wrong for so long.

'You're tossing in the wrong direction' she declared in her rather posh British doctory voice.
'Am I? It's never felt wrong to me!'
'Yes, you are. Definitely.'
'You need to throw the ball up higher and in front of you, not straight above your head' suggested Cath. 'That way you can see the ball when you hit it and you're not falling backwards on yourself losing power and momentum in the process.'

It all sounded very complicated. My first two attempts to toss properly ended in both balls failing to hit the mark by some margin. Then, as if temporarily touched by the wand of Nadal, Sampras, Federer (or for readers of a certain age, Roscoe Tanner), I began to serve hard and fast into my opponent's half court,  producing a succession of serves many, many leagues in advance of anything that has ever left my racket head before.

Unbelievable! After nearly 30 years, I've finally found out how to get my toss right, and the feeling is one of near indescribable ecstasy. You really should try it some time; I promise you won't be disappointed.

Thankyou doctor.